Our Human Village -Those Important Conversations
It seems our lives are built on a series of tasks: get dressed, make coffee, take the kids to school, go to work, try to be productive, commute, pick up the kids, grab the mail, make dinner, workout, help with homework, check Facebook, watch TV, go to bed. It is non-stop! I joke with colleagues that I wish I didn’t have to sleep so I would have more time in the day – something I’m sure that you have thought about as well.
Built upon these everyday tasks are the mental challenges that add just one more layer to our complex lives; lives which feel particularly hard now. We may not be out of work, but we know someone who is or we worry that we’ll be next. We may be working to the bone, trying to manage everything, but feel unappreciated and neglected. We may have middle schoolers who we wish would just act like the “good” kid down the street, not realizing that our neighbors are saying the same thing about us.
Sometimes, in my busy day, there will be a moment when my life, and all the tasks associated with it, suddenly slows down. For me, this moment always begins with a conversation. The conversations I’ve had recently are about both the physical and mental challenges of living in this 21st century. These conversations start abruptly and I quickly find myself thinking…”This is important!” It’s important because sometimes you just need someone to hear you; to really listen to your fears, your insecurities, your hopes, and your dreams. There is nothing that can get you through the day more than just stopping to have a conversation with someone you trust, knowing that they really care about what is going on in your life. More importantly, it is through these conversations that we come to find out that we are not alone in our frustration, our misery, our optimism, or our feelings that things will get better.
I think a great example of this is watching two new parents manage their three year-old while out to dinner at a “family” restaurant. If you are a people watcher like me, I’m sure you have gone out to dinner and been distracted by the wail of a child. If you turn your head to look, you might have seen a young couple trying desperately to quiet their child down. “Ssh, use your quiet voice,” they’ll say. Or, “Everybody’s watching you.” If you caught their eye, they might have turned away suddenly, ashamed, thinking that you were passing judgment on their lack of parenting skills. If you’re like me, been there, done that. The look is not a look of judgment but a look of understanding – that no matter what you do, that child is going to do what a three year-old child does – talk loudly, laugh loudly, and, of course, be fussy until you decide to leave in exasperation.
I’ve seen this happen so many times, but one time really stands out. A young couple had been struggling all dinner to quiet their child. They were really tag teaming – trying their hardest, to no avail. After dinner, as the dad sat exhausted waiting for his wife to gulp down a few last bits of the meal, an older couple in their late 60s stopped at their table. “Oh great,” I thought, “now they’re going to be lectured about how they shouldn’t bring their child to a restaurant.” Pleasantly surprised, they engaged the couple in a short conversation and I heard “it gets better” as the older couple walked away. The smiles on the younger couples’ faces were priceless.
A simple conversation with profound affects.
Have something that’s really eating at you? Start a conversation!
Our Human Village is a forum on life issues facilitated by educator and writer Lisa Davis. If you would like to share your issue or comment on the current posting, please email Lisa in care of email or make a comment below.
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Posted by Eastlaketimes on Nov 12 2010. Filed under Eastlake News, Editorial. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry
